last 24 hours in Haiti

I'm considering this Haiti's goodbye to me...

Last night we were watching The Holiday before bed and all of a sudden we heard a ton of gunshots. There was probably about 20 or so. This happens about every month, so Bridget and I just laughed. It freaked Rachel out a bit (as it should) and we joked about gunshots being Haitian fireworks. Then, about a minute later we heard this horrible moaning/crying noise that was clearly coming from the cows in the field by FWAL. Never been so happy to be a vegetarian. Listening to the dying cows definitely killed the romance of The Holiday.

This morning, Bridget went out to get coffee for us. She came back with a nice big cup of coffee for me but told me "there were more bugs than sugar in the can, so I only got you a little bit of sugar."  

hi ho, hi ho, back to the US i go!

Tomorrow I leave to go home for the holidays!!!

As much as my mind is already back in Issaquah, I'm trying to focus on finishing things up here.

The Financial Times wrote a great article on Father Rick and the work were doing. The link is http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/a5aadbee-226c-11e1-923d-00144feabdc0.html. Makes me happy to see some publicity! Undoubtedly one of my biggest frustrations working here is that I know that people in the US would love to hear the stories and experiences, but there isn't enough media. You don't have to play up any stories being here... you walk around our campus for five minutes and you could write pages and pages. Then you're here for months and you get to know your coworkers, friends, kids at our homes and the hospital and you're changed forever. But you're too involved... I want to respect people's privacy and I know that my writing could in no way do justice to the incredible people who I spend my time with every day. Not everyone of course, but the people I consider my friends come from such different backgrounds than me, I'm so impressed with their stories and most of all, their view of the world. To grow up in such difficult circumstances and have constant exposure to the way people with money live, but to remain positive and hopeful and dedicated to change is really remarkable.

This week, Bridget and I have had a guest staying with us! Rachel is here visiting NPFS for the third time. Her first visit was in January 2010 when she spent a little over a week staying at our previous volunteer house in Petionville when the earthquake hit and the six story building she was in fell. She writes about her experiences on her blog here- http://helloagainhaiti.blogspot.com. She's working as a physical therapist at St. Luke, but after work she's been coming with me to go play with the babies in the abandoned room!

practicing walking with Marvens

Rachel with baby Nadine

As much as 90 degree, sunny days make it feel like Christmas is still another six months away, our organization has put up some Christmas trees and lights. Last night driving around Port-au-Prince, it made me sad that Haiti doesn't get to have all the decorations and celebrations that are in the US. There is only a few lights up and only in the wealthy parts of the city. Even those lights are wrapped around the telephone poles because that's where there's access to electricity. Many people don't give or get presents because they aren' t working. Those who have jobs buy small gifts for their families. But even those who are working, and not making much believe me, donate some of their money to a church or those in need.

This morning we're having a girl's Christmas brunch at a hotel nearby. Then I'm spending the rest of the day packing and cleaning and getting ready to go!!! US here I come!

long week, with an interesting ending

This week was stressful. Miscommunications, misunderstandings, new responsibilities, changing procedure and a heap of short term volunteers made this week absolutely exhausting. Not to mention it's still as hot and dusty as ever. The thing about being here for a year is that the big stuff, the important stuff, is so meaningful and so rewarding that it makes living here fun and exciting and everything I hoped it would be. It's the little stuff, the things that really aren't important in the big picture, that are tough to deal with.

And since I've been here for five months, I'm about to go home in a week, that little stuff is driving me nuts. Like last Saturday... it was Family Day at FWAL and all I wanted to do was go over and play with the kids who's families don't come. But of course I got a phone call that I had to go to the warehouse before I went over. So I go to meet the driver at the hospital, and we have to make a pit stop... at the morgue. So they load the body into the back of the pickup and we head to the refridgerated containers we use as the morgue. (I swear, Haiti could use a container for ANYthing.) Then we go to the warehouse and of course the Cholera Treatment Center needs a bunch of materials they forgot to ask for the day before. Then we go drop everything off... and on and on and on.

The point of all of this was that yesterday, I was VERY excited that it was Friday. I had lots of coffee and no breakfast which is not the best combination. I walked outside to fill up my waterbottle for work and ran into KIM KARDASHIAN. I totally freaked out. I came back to my house, literally running, to tell Bridget that Kim Kardashian was outside. I'm totally embarassed by how completely ridiculous I was. By the time I had calmed down enough to go back outside, they had already left for their tour. She (and the rest of the celebrities that were here) were only here for the morning, before they went to another organization, and left Haiti later that day. I have to say I'm very impressed that she came to Haiti and even used our Port-a-Potty bathrooms (which are made out of... you guessed it, a container!)

weird things that happen in Haiti

As my Dad likes to say, "weird" is a compliment. So here goes. Some of this stuff occurs on a regular basis, and others have only happened once... but they were memorable enough to put here. I'll let you guess which is which :)

• taking a shower out of a bucket
• a rat in the warehouse drinking an entire bottle of ciprofloxacin for injection
• taking half hour motorcycle rides to get to and from the store
• rearranging gauze for 6 hours
• evening chats about how Bill Clinton's assistant and celebrities are coming to visit tomorrow
• carrying dead bodies before I've had my coffee
• eating, well in my case watching other's eat, the goat that was running around at work earlier that day
• listening to the call to prayer in Arabic at 4am
• sharing a water bottle with a kid and later finding out he has TB
• turning to hear who is calling "cherie" (my dear) to me and having a nice little chat with a man carrying an enormous machete and no teeth
• seeing a Lexus SUV and BMW convertible at the grocery store and having a really good time trying to guess which people those cars belong to
• getting my $20 bill rejected because it has a pen mark on it
• driving a forklift
• drinking beer at church
• needing to have at least three items you want from a menu, because they might not have what you want
• getting a new assortment of cereals each time you go to the grocery store
• watching all the food stands of the women who sit outside the hospital being burned in the middle of our street in an enormous bonfire
• keeping cholera tests in my living room
• learning Italian
• sorting through neuro and open-heart surgery kits to get to the alcohol pads and ibuprofen

Alright, that’s my list for now. I know I’m forgetting tons… I’ll post this list again in a couple months.

"surprisingly miserableless"

Yes I actually said that. My English is finally taking a hit. If only that meant that my Creole was getting better...

Last Thursday we had a big Thanksgiving celebration. Us American volunteers got together to host a Thanksgiving for all the other volunteers and employees who live on campus. We had such a good time eating, talking and drinking. We had most of the traditional Thanksgiving foods- turkey (stuffed with ground beef??), mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and yams (which we found the next day). The food didn't even really matter though, it was just so nice for everyone to be together. It definitely made it wayyy easier to be away from home and in a country where no one else celebrates the holiday.


Father Rick and our fabulous Italian volunteer chef carving the turkey




Sister Judy and Bridget getting the food prepared

After dinner, I went to the Hotel Oloffson for the first time. It's the most famous hotel in Haiti and has a huge list of all the famous people who have stayed there. If you've seen Anthony Bourdain's Haiti episode, it's the hotel he stays at. If you haven't seen the episode, he talks with the current owner who tells him how he aquired the hotel which is a super interesting story. Anyways, on Thursday nights there's a popular band that plays so we went to go dance and hang out. It was tons of fun!

On Saturday we got up super early to go on a day trip to Fond des Blancs, a tiny little village in the south of Haiti.

One of our past directors is from this little town and he has since gone back to help out his community. We went and saw a cornmeal factory, bread factory, clinic, school, block factory and sewing shop that he has built there. It was awesome to see everything that we're doing in Tabarre being done on a much smaller scale for the rural community.


Bread factory in a container




Site for the school- it has fruit trees on the property!




Blocks to be purchased. The background is amazing in person, the picture doesn't do it justice!


We also went on a tour of St. Boniface Hospital which is in the "downtown" area of Fond des Blancs. We went to go check otu a provincial hospital, although this one was very nice because it has been financially supported by a group of Americans. The only scary part was that neonatology shares a room with the ER. They also have a cholera center which we stopped by and they only have one patient!! Which is great news for the community, but made me sad that we're still getting so many patients in Tabarre.


entrance to St. Boniface



The visit was very nice and I really enjoyed seeing it, but the drive there and back was definitely the most entertaining part. We had so much fun just joking around, talking about the organization and Haiti and the volunteers and our lives. Driving all over the country is fascinating as well. Haiti is just so completely different from anywhere I've been, I'm still totally fascinated when we drive around. However, this drive was particularly amusing because of the following...

That is my roommate, Bridget, and behind her is the river that we're fording. See how comfortable we were? Ya. The next picture is taken out the back of the truck and gives you a better idea of the size of the river.

But we all survived including the driver and the car, so all is well.

This post is dedicated to everyone who complains that I don't put up enough pictures. You're welcome :)

GOOD DAY

Her mom came today!!! The little girl who has been living in oncology without any family for 5 months finally got to go home today! I went up to oncology and got the story from the nurses. Her mom had trouble getting to the hospital last week because of money, but eventually she pulled enough together to make the trip down here. They live way up north, so it's a good two days of traveling. She came into oncology and at first her daughter didn't recognize her. I guess that's what happens when a four year old hasn't seen her mother in 5 months, but also the mom was pregnant when she left and now she's had the baby, so that's a big change too. However, once the girl realized that that was her mom, apparently she wouldn't talk with anybody else. The second best part to this story is that the mom wants her to continue to get treatment! The girl still needs to go to the DR to get radiation therapy and I guess they're going to make it happen. There always could be things that go wrong of course, but at least her mom wants to continue her treatment. Good. Stuff.

Also our office got finished this morning! And our new employee started today and so far everything is going great! I'm going to go have a glass of wine and enjoy having things go so well today!

a weekend does the body good

Today was a really good day for relaxing. You know how some days you're better at letting it all go than others? This afternoon I was finally able to get rid of some of the stress I've been feeling all week long. I spent the morning at a very long mass at FWAL, but it was great to see the kids there. I always miss them so much, but it's so hard to get over there during the week. I could easily live here without working and have completely packed days just visiting with all the kids and chatting with employees. After mass I got some work done on the computer that I haven't had the chance to do all week with the office being under construction. Then after lunch we brought some of the kids from abandoned down into the courtyard to play.

Bridget and Samuel

Peggy and Marco playing drums on the cheetah

with Marvens

trying to get Lubin to smile for the camera

Marvens is the newest baby in sal pwason and has been doing so much better over the last two weeks. He was admitted to the hospital with severe anemia and malnutrition. When I first met him in abandoned he was very timid and quiet and would just lay on my shoulder whenever I picked him up. The only time I saw him show emotion other than sadness was when he was eating. This was long before I knew he was malnourished but he would hold on with all his strength to his cups of milk and wouldn't let me give him a break for some air. He would always cry when he finished his meal. Now, he eats like a normal kid... excited at first, then he gets full and food seems like it would be better used as a toy by spreading it all over the table and his hands/arms/face/shirt/diaper/floor. You can see from the picture that his hair is filling in, maybe for the first time. Now he loves to play and grabs my hands and stands up to practice walking. He has the most adorable smile and laugh and loves to be thrown in the air. He was by far the most adventurous this morning, braving the grass to go check out the animal statues and pond in the courtyard. The abandoned room can be such a sad place, it's so nice to have a child doing so much better by being there.

This evening I watched the first Twilight movie with my roommate because she had never seen any of them!! I set her expectations low, so she liked it. I'm going to have to figure out how to download the newest one once she catches up on the other two. Also in keeping with our American-ness, we're having a Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday! Yes it's 95 degrees here and we don't have many of the ingredients, but we're throwing a dinner anyways! All of us American volunteers are getting together to have the dinner for the rest of the volunteers/employees who live on campus. Even if we don't get stuffing, it's got to be more delicious than the can of soup I usually have for dinner.

I've been lazy about writing in my blog lately.

Hmm, what's new? We're getting an office in the warehouse which is much needed and couldn't come at a better time. Now that all the hospitals and clinics know us and that they have access to our supplies (which we are happy to give them) we need a barrier to prevent wanderers and to establish an official system for reqeusting supplies.

Francisville has been a mad house lately with the arrival of a bunch of Italian donors. The NPH Italia office completely funds Francisville, so it has been a mad dash to get all the projects finished and everything cleaned up for their arrival. Tonight we are going to the grand opening of the Francisville restaurant. Quite the monumental event! Well I'm actually about a hundred times more excited that our new office has air conditioning and electricity... but the restaurant is cool too I guess.

I was sick last week so I didn't get up to see the kiddo's much and I realized how much my Creole suffered because of it! When I went up there after almost a week, I realized I missed them so much, but I was struggling to get it out in Creole! So frustrating. We're still waiting on the mom of the little girl in oncology. She said she was coming yesterday and I had said a tentative goodbye to her the day before. I was nervous about it all day yesterday and especially right before going up. I opened the door to the room and there she is, dressed in a gorgeous little white dress, just waiting. It absolutely broke my heart. I talked with her about it a little bit and she just said "manman poco vini" (Mom hasn't come yet). I brought her down to my house and gave her some candy and stickers which she happily gave out to the other kids in oncology.

Last weekend my roommate and I got away for the weekend! We went up to Petionville which is the wealthiest part of Port-au-Prince and spent the weekend in a gorgeous hotel with hot showers, real mattresses and TV! We got to walk all around the town which was such a nice escape from being trapped on the compound in Tabarre. It's so frustrating because one of the things I love the most about Haiti is how friendly people are, how they joke around and help each other out. You get a sense from people that they're all in this together, whether they're helping you back up your car, giving directions, or making jokes while you wait (and you wait for everything here). But because of the security situation we have to be so careful about leaving the organization, even during the day. It was amazing to be able to walk around Petionville, talk with people on the street, shop on the street, eat the street food, just to be a part of Haiti!

The Kinam Hotel, where we stayed. They call it gingerbread-style architecture.

past 2 weeks in pictures

Since David was here for the last two weeks, he took a ton of pictures and I had no time to write in my blog. So here's how we spent the last two weeks...

typical walk to FWAL

Steve & friend being too cool. And yes, terrible picture of me, but very accurate at capturing the moment of Mido attacking me.

Peterson showing off the new camera pose David taught him

David and Marco

Dance party with oncology!

dancing???

celebrating Day of the Dead at the mass graves from the earthquake

hiking in Kenscoff! Port-au-Prince is behind David under the clouds

looking to the NW, absolutely amazing

the entire reason I go to Kenscoff: sweatshirt & blanket, coffee, book

OUR NEW OFFICE!!!!

top ten reasons why I love Haiti

these will probably change by tomorrow, but for now...

10. the excessive use of pleasantries, at least if you have to have a bad conversation it sounds nice with all the cheri's (my dear) and ti pwoblems (little problem)
9. mountains, hills, flatlands, beach and ocean- all within an hour's drive
8. the greeting of kissing on the cheek. especially from the girls at FWAL, so adorable.
7. the fact that haiti has like 5 variations on beans and rice. all delish.
6. haitian people who have so much pride and are eager to teach and share about their country
5. the way people live their lives in the streets, so much community and togetherness
4. so many people here are artists, poets, singers and love to share their talent
3. the way every occasion turns into a party
2. getting to work with people who are eager and involved and want to see things get better for their country
1. giving conversation, comfort, laughter, encouragement and love to those who seek it

All Saints Day

Today for All Saints Day, a holiday which I have never heard of before, at my Catholic organization I decided to listen to a Unitarian Universalist sermon on service. In this UU sermon, the minister quoted a Catholic Saint who spoke about what all saints must do in order to reach sainthood. How ironic.


"St. John of the Cross, a Spanish mystic and Catholic Saint said, 'I saw the river over which all saints must pass and the name of that river is suffering. I saw the boat in which they cross and the name of that boat is love.'"

Good quote to think about, regardless of whether or not you're celebrating All Saints Day.

this post will get better after some Starbucks Via

Marvens and Lubin on the balcony of St. Damien's

David got here on Tuesday so I've been submitting him to the usual torture- making him push wagons, feed toddlers and move boxes around the warehouse. Last night we went to Operation Blessing for DELICIOUS tacos and rum & cokes. I had 5-star Barbancourt rum for the first time, so I'm feeling slightly less than motivated to write a bunch now. This morning we had yummy brunch at the container hotel, but now I am in desparate need of an iced caramel via.

yep, even in Haiti it's already starting
Happy Halloween!

Bernard Mevs

On Friday morning, I got a ride over to Bernard Mevs to shadow my dad for a day. He was working as the only Med-Surg and ICU doctor for their nine bed Med-Surg unit and three bed ICU. The hospital is small compared to St. Damien and St. Luc, but many of the patients are very sick. The day was slow compared to the other days he was there, which was nice for us because it gave him a chance to really explain the cases to me, and we just had more time to chat. Since the two directors of the hospital are surgeons, they do a lot of post-op care. I've heard so much from our staff about why we almost never do surgeries, primarily because the risk of infection is so great in Haiti, that it made me nervous to see all these invasive surgeries. And sure enough, if there wasn't a problem with the surgery itself, the patients had some kind of complication and for many of them the prognosis didn't look good. I guess I got a very skewed view of the surgery though, because if things go well, the patients don't need to stay in the hospital. The other patients were very interesting from a medical standpoint-- a broken pelvis with external fixators (all bills covered by the UN, since it was a Minustah car that hit her), a 22 year old who needed a trach because of tetanus, and was subsequently found to be HIV+ and lost her pregnancy during her visit, and a suspected rabies case. It was great to be able to spend a day and a half looking at a hospital from a medical standpoint instead of a logistical one and helped remind me of why it's so important to make sure we have all the medicines and supplies that we need to treat our patients.

Bernard Mevs has started charging for their care, which impeded some of the medicine they were able to do. Having been in Haiti for three months, I know how much families struggle to pull together even the smallest amounts of money, and every time the translators would ask the families if they think they could get together $200 for a CT scan, I couldn't help but cringe. I have never been more thankful that St. Damien and St. Luc don't charge for care. A 10 year old boy who came to Bernard Mevs after being hit in the head by a car, was almost sent to St. Damien's just for the head CT because the family couldn't afford it at Bernard Mevs! The craziest part is that the CT scanner and the nice trailer it's in were all donated. It didn't cost Bernard Mevs anything! I know it's very hard to raise money for operational costs of the hospital, we struggle with the same thing, but there has to be a better solution than refusing diagnostic tests to patients who really need them.

For dinner, we went to a restaurant at the UN base. I put tried to put aside my contempt for Minustah and just enjoy a nice evening out. I was pretty successful, but I couldn't help bursting out laughing when I saw their "No sex for money or barter" sign. Ridiculous. The falafel I had was delicious and just to sit and talk with my dad and the other volunteers was really nice.

I got back on Saturday morning and relaxed for a little while, then went up to visit in oncology. I was tired from a busy day of new things and waking up early, so I was planning to just have a short visit and then go back home. But the kids wanted to play, so I ended up staying for a while. As I was leaving, I looked over to abandoned (it's right across the courtyard) and decided to go say a quick hello. When I got there, not only were there new babies (!!!!) but there was only one nurse for 12 babies, so there was a lot of work to do. By the time we got everyone in clean diapers, dinner came, so I helped feed the kids as well. Then there were other volunteers that came in and anyways, by the time I ended up leaving I'd been there for two hours. I was definitely tired by then, but I got to come home, take a shower, have a glass of wine and watch Modern Family with Bridget. All in all, it was a super busy, but rewarding day.

english class

Here are some pictures I took of my "English class" in sal melon.

Lucson and Peter

some of the gang

Mr. Cool, Junathan, on his cellphone

Dad came to visit!

Yesterday Dad came to visit me for the afternoon. He brought tons of goodies for me and things to give to the children. We took a bead kit and some unicorn silly bands up to oncology to give to the girls there. Surprisingly, Didine jumped right up on him... usually she is super shy with new people. She must have sensed he was part of the family. Well it could have been that... or occam's razor: he gave her a present.

Dad and Didine with her new sparkly silly bands and Dad's sunglasses

It was great for him to see the whole compound and some of the people that I work with. Hopefully, he'll be coming down again and stay with me next time! You reading this Dad??

After I dropped Dad back at Bernard Maevs and finished work, I went up to abandoned to hang out. Lubin is so close to walking, but he's so timid he won't go for it. All of a sudden I had a lightbulb moment and remembered the Little Tikes toy they have that is like a walker. I pulled it out and Lubin got the hang of it right away. I'm not joking, it took less than two minutes before he was running down the halls of the hospital, laughing non-stop because he was so delighted with himself! He needed almost no help at all, I spent way more time with Marco trying to help him with the tricycle. To be fair to Marco, it's pretty hard to ride a trike when your feet don't reach the pedals.

Heading out for a ti marche around the hospital

reflection (it's a long one)

It’s hard to believe that it’s been three months. It feels like I just got here- I’m still struggling to learn the language, still meeting new people every day, still doing something different at work every day, still figuring out how to fill up my free time. I don’t have a usual thing I do with any of my days which makes it all feel new and exciting. But I think that that’s a big part of why I came here. And Haiti definitely hasn’t disappointed. When you can’t even count on facts from one day to be true on the next, semblances of routine and monotony are nonexistent.

But in other ways, much more substantial ways, it feels like I can’t have only been here for three months. The friendships I’ve made here are so much deeper than any I’ve made in the states in just three months. The work we’ve accomplished as a team has been substantial and important. Although it can feel discouraging from day-to-day, when you look at where we started from, it makes me so proud. I’m proud of myself for learning and adapting to working in the developing world. I took a college class about teaching and we talked a lot about starting with the most basic knowledge with your student and going from there. When a teaching a computer program in the US, your first question would probably be, “have you used this particular program before?” In Haiti, it's not “have you ever used a computer before?” or even “do you know how to read?” but, “can you see the letters on the computer?” And although this reality is sad, I’m happy to have an understanding of Haiti’s circumstances that allows me to not make presumptions about people. I’ve learned, and am continuing to learn so much about the culture, that I know not to judge levels of understanding or methods of getting things done. I know that I am a visitor to this culture and that it is me that needs to be adapting, changing and learning to the way of life in Haiti. I am very thankful that those that I work most closely with, both Haitian and American, share many similar values and goals as me. It has made my transition into daily life here peaceful and rewarding.

This morning we had a mass to dedicate the new wing of St. Luc Hospital to Sister Philomena, a long-time NPFS volunteer. Father spoke about how we are able to accomplish so much because of the foundation that has been built from the love and sacrifice of those who worked before us. It was very meaningful to see so many of our long-term staff, volunteers and supporters there. He spoke about how all of these services we provide—a home for orphaned children, medical care for sick children, a home for disabled children, a hospital for adults, a hospital for disasters, another two homes for vulnerable children, a therapy school for disabled children—have all been created out of necessity, which is a tragedy. He spoke about that the criticism of our organizations, both internal and external, is valid and important, but that we have an organization that has been built on love for the children and love for the Haitian people. And as I reflect on his words and the work of the hundreds of people of NPFS, I am happy that we have an organization to be critical of. I am happy that people feel safe enough here to express their opinions and care enough to want to make it better. The day we take a look at our organization and say, “ok it looks like we’ve done enough” is the day we have stopped listening to and loving Haiti. The problems here are not ones that are going to be solved in my lifetime. But we are listening to the people of this country, by not only providing social services, but jobs and roles in leadership and management. We are not an organization of 20 blancs, who hire Haitian security and drivers for us to spend our days going from UN meetings to drinks in Petionville. We are a Haitian-run organization with international volunteers in advisor or training roles only. Haiti’s progress and development is going to be made by Haitians and I am happy to be a part of the empowerment and training to work towards our shared goals.

Although disappointment and devastation surrounds us all the time, for me, it’s more difficult to focus on the bad. But believe me, it’s here. Yesterday, walking into oncology as a mother cries over her three year olds body being taken out. Our cook being robbed of all the money to feed our children for the week. Patients dying because they didn’t have the money to physicall get to the hospital when they started getting sick. A university student having to fight for his right to a USB drive. Three children being abandoned at the cholera treatment center last week. Living and working in Haiti, you can’t dwell on the bad because it will pull you into a downward spiral of absolute devastation. You have to walk a fine line between listening and truly understanding other’s circumstances and not letting the overwhelming need get to you. And perhaps the hardest thing of all, is understanding that each of us has a different tipping point. Although I may be ready to hear about a great need and ready to fight to improve it, another volunteer, or my boss, or my family back home, may not be ready to hear about it. We all have our causes, our battles and whether they be self-interested or not, we have to respect each other’s work and dedication.

But what I’ve been learning to do here, is to keep a little ear open. I can’t solve our multi-million dollar budget crisis. But the babies in the abandoned room get very little attention? I have an hour to go play with them most evenings. A volunteer sees a mommy walking around the hospital with no shoes, so she gives her her flip-flips. Little moments of generosity are powerful in that they are infectious. These little gifts of time and things have expanded the hearts of our seasoned volunteers and I see that they now fight for big and difficult changes. Sending children to the US for surgeries requires medical clearances, partnerships with a donating hospital and enormous amounts of money, but they make it happen. Volunteering at a clinic in the slums on the weekend when you already spend 60 hours a week running a hospital takes a level of dedication that I can’t understand. But I can see people’s growth in the process and it makes me inspired. I hope that I too can grow in the process of my time here and learn to give more and more. So thank you to my friends and family who have been listening to me tell stories about babies, children, coworkers, patients and life in Haiti in general as I process everything I’m experiencing. I definitely could not do it without you.

Watson and Rosemita at the Sister Philomena Dedication Ceremony

bye, bye Yvens

Exactly one week ago I wrote about how the hardest moment of the week was learning about all of our abandoned children and that they have no place to go. Today, without a doubt my hardest moment was when I walked into the abandoned room and Yvens was gone. He was accepted into an orphanage and will thankfully be living in a home with other children and (I hope, hope, hope) be provided with all the love and support he needs to grow into a happy, healthy child. I'm glad that he will no longer be sitting in a crib for endless hours a day, but I'm sad that I didn't get to say goodbye or even found out the name of the place he went to. I know that he has an amazingly strong spirit and will easily find his way into the hearts of the caretakers at his new home. But I'm definitely going to miss seeing his happy, smiling face going up into abandoned every day.

In other good news (why yes, I am trying to convince myself that it's good news that Yvens is gone) previously-mentioned possible security situation for today is no longer a worry. Aristide was on TV today, sitting with Martelly right by his side. Last night when we heard two rounds of 20+ gunshots, we were a little worried... but today there was humpty-dumpty and his little gremlin friend posing for the cameras like good, peaceful politicians.

More good things... my Dad is in Haiti for the week, so I'm excited to see him. My friend David is coming to visit the following week! The Huskies won today. My weird stomach thing seems to be getting better (and I didn't have to poop in a cup... haha Kevin!!!) Had a fabulous dinner at Operation Blessing tonight. Heard lots of great stories about 'back-in-the-day' at NPFS from all the seasoned volunteers who are here for the grand opening of St. Philomene, including Sister Philomena herself, for whom the hospital is named. We're having a big mass and celebration tomorrow, so I'll post about that tomorrow.

i'm alive

So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well

It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive

And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
I'm alive and well

Stars are dancing on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul when there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well

And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
Now I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well

rose & thorn moments

I once heard that the Obama's have a dinner-time tradition of talking about their rose moment and thorn moment of the day. So here's how my week went, Obama style:

Thorn Moment

Without a doubt, the worst thorn moment was learning that in addition to the 12 abandoned kids we have in the 'official abandoned' room, there are 9 others throughout the hospital. 21 children abandoned at St. Damien. And now, 3 kids abandoned at the St. Philomene Cholera Center. 24 children, in our care, waiting... to at best be placed in well-financed orphanage. I also learned that two of our children have been with us for over a year, still waiting to be placed. All of our homes are full and apparently everyone else's are too.
Rose Moments

• FREE BLACKBERRY! Move to a third world country and get a free smart phone...thanks, Voila!
• Meeting Peter and Lucson who are in the melon room. They want to learn English, so I did two English lessons with them this week. They want to learn so badly and are so cute because I can tell they practiced after their first lesson and had tons of words to ask me how to say when I went the second time. It's been great practice for my Creole as well.
• Getting two big shipments of medications! The shelves are finally stocked and I am SO happy that I can tell the pharmacies, "YES we have that!"
• Helping a friend fill out his paperwork to go to the US for the first time
• Yvens showing off the new trick he learned- waving- to every person we pass by in the hospital

Lubin & I on the St. Damien balcony

riots, gangs, guns and... rice?

Where to even begin...


In my last blog post, I mentioned that we were having a security situation. Our previously quiet streets had been filled with huge groups of people that were clearly from the slums and dressed like gangsters. They grow their hair long, they wear baggy clothes and a lot of them have huge scars. Our compound is very much isolated from any homes, other businesses, etc. so the people on the street are almost always patients. We do have some street vendors who sell food and phone cards to our staff and patients, but we recognize a lot of them and they usually fairly nice, so these new people really stood out.


Yesterday, a big group of the volunteers and employees had a meeting to talk about what's been going on and discuss options for staying safe. Father Rick started the meeting by explaining why these big groups (40-50 people) have been hanging around. Basically, our organization had a miscommunication with a supplier about where to deliver a shipment of rice. In the past, we have been able to use rice to get in the good graces of the people in Cite Soleil, so that we could provide medical care and other services to the people who live there. Instead, the rice was delivered to Francisville by mistake and these people have been hanging around waiting for the shipment to come in and for our organization to give out the rice. There are a few other security issues besides this, so we had our hour long security meeting and came to some agreements.


As Bridget and I are leaving, we can hear these groups of people yelling and causing a huge commotion. We decide to go up on the roof to see what's going. We get up to the roof and the people are inside Francisville. Francisville has a 20ish foot wall surrounding it on all sides, a padlocked gate, and two security guards. There are probably 20-30 of these gangsters yelling and pacing around in front of my warehouse, when we hear a gunshot. I am seriously freaking out at this point. We're trying to figure out who we should call, when I hear Wynn's keys and can tell he's coming up to the roof too. He asked us if that was really a gunshot, then realizes their inside Francisville, says a few choice words and quickly goes to get Father Rick.


Man, this story is way more fun to tell when I don't have to be PC about it.


Anyways, a few minutes later we see Father and Wynn walk into Francisville to go talk with these guys. Ten or fifteen minutes later, they get everyone outside the gates and start letting some of the tap-taps in to collect the rice. At this point, Ivy and I left to go have dinner at Operation Blessing, but I guess it got even worse. There were more gunshots (they just fire into the air), then someone smashed a bottle on Father Rick's car and broke his window. Father was mad, but it ended up being the other gangsters who started beating him for doing that. Eventually, they got everyone out and the rice is gone. There are no more crowds of people and I was able to go to work today with no problems.


The easiest way to deal with all of this is to laugh about it. Which, let me tell you, there are some pretty hilarious non-blog appropriate moments to joke about. But when you think about the situation its really devastating. These people have come all the way here, stood outside from 4am-10pm, sometimes in the pouring rain, all for rice. There are no other organizations doing food distributions anymore, so their desperation is immense. Father told us about a conversation he had with one of the guys waiting outside the gate. The guy got up in his face and said "Can't you understand? We're here in the rain, all day, all night, because we NEED this rice? Can't you understand how much we NEED this?" and Father replied by saying, "Can't you understand that you're making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to give it to you? You're scaring our patients, our staff... even the rats are staying away because they're scared!"


Completely not true by the way, the rats are definitely still here.


Stay tuned because October 15th should be another fun security day. Aristide (previously ousted president who favored random acts of violence) is supposed to be giving a speech on the radio and depending on what he says, may either be supporting Martelly (the current President) or trying to throw him out. Aristide also happens to be our next door neighbor. He also has chats with these gangsters who camped out by our organization. Apparently, they told Aristide that we are one of the groups that actually gives aid in Cite Soleil (point- St. Luke!)

family day

Today was fete paran (family day) at Father Wasson Angels of Light (FWAL). I knew from talking with friends who are my age, but grew up at St. Helene in Kenscoff, that this day is one of the hardest for the kids who don't have any family or their family doesn't come to visit them. The home at Kenscoff is for orphaned and vulnerable children, so many of the children have some extended family, but who are unable to take care of them. NPFS tries to encourage continuing a relationship for these children who have family. At FWAL, this is even more the case. Now that our social workers have had some time to visit with families, the children who lived at FWAL that have no extended family moved to Kenscoff a few weeks ago. The FWAL program aims to follow more of a boarding school model for the children, while providing additional assistance and resources to families. So once a month, the children get dressed in their best clothes, and family can come visit from 9am-noon.


I went with a group of our long-term volunteers to play with the kids whose families don't come. We arrived before any parents, so at first it was just like a normal day of playing with the kids. As parents started to come in, it was so great to see the kids reuniting with their families. It was so funny that for some of the relatives, I knew exactly who their kid was because they looked so much alike. Some of the family members brought cameras to take pictures or little treats like sodas and candy. School starts next week, so many of the conversations I heard were families asking the kids if they were excited to be starting school.


But it's hard to watch expectant little faces watching the front gate, hoping that they would recognize someone walking through. I brought a coloring book and some markers and crayons, so I started pulling out pages to give to the kids for some distraction. It was a major success (only one fight) and many of the kids came up to me when they were done to show me their work. A few even offered to give me their drawing as a present. It was very sweet and I had each kid write their name on the picture to hang up in my room. When they finished drawing, some of the boys went to go play soccer and the girls disappeared into their containers like usual. One of the sweet, sweet girls who has been hanging out with me lately stuck around and we talked for a little while. She's nine years old, tall and slender, soft spoken and very kind. Whereas most kids run up and grab at you and talk over each other to get attention, she hangs back, waits until the others have moved on, then sits and has a nice conversation. Earlier in the day, I had asked if she had any family coming. She said no, because her mother is very sick. I was surprised at how well she was handling the day, not because she's any different from the other kids without family there, but just because I had been with her all morning and she hadn't talked about it other than that initial explanation. But eventually, we were talking with Bridget and some other kids and she started rubbing her eyes. I had my arm around her and Bridget asked if she had something in her eye, but I could feel her shaking like she was crying. She was very quiet about it and just turned around to face the container and stopped after only a minute. It's hard to know what to do-- you want to make them feel better and distract them-- but you also have to let them know its ok to feel sad. I actually think what helped her the most was right in the middle of this, one of the little girls from St. Anne who is only maybe 2 and a half was absolutely sobbing because her family member had just left. Sister Kathleen was talking with the little girl and telling her its ok to be sad and trying to coach the workers to let her cry and just sit with her until she feels better. The 9 year old I was with watched all this happen and it seemed to me like she was taking it in. If nothing else, I'm sure it helps these kids to realize that they are not alone. They are all dealing with the hurt and isolation together and share so many of the same feelings, no matter their age.

Jerry, Steve and Stanley with their helicopter drawing

acrobatics at FWAL